Trigger warning: the following contains mention of sexual assault.
The following is adapted from Four Time Felon by Rick Scadden.
The chaos of my childhood didn’t start with me—it began long before I was even conceived. Dysfunction and trauma were passed down like a curse from one generation to the next.
My mother grew up in a home defined by instability. Her parents’ marriage was fragile, shattering and reforming repeatedly—they married and divorced twice. The final divorce came after my grandmother had an affair, leaving the family fractured and raw.
At just fourteen, my mother endured a trauma no child should face: she was raped at a party by multiple men. From that horrific event, my older sister was conceived. Years later, when my mother shared this with me, I didn’t know what to say. How do you process the fact that someone you love entered the world through violence?
Life left her no time to process the pain. By sixteen, she married a man named Randy. Shockingly, her parents had taken her to the courthouse and legally signed her over to him. At sixteen, she was no longer just a child; she belonged to Randy. The marriage didn’t last—it produced my brother but also added more abuse, drinking, and pain to her life.
After that marriage ended, my mother began dating Randy’s brother, my father. Alcohol had been her escape before, but with him, drugs became her new reality. Their relationship was built on partying, reckless decisions, and self-destruction from the start. And in the middle of all that chaos, I was born. By nineteen, my mother had three children from three different men, no stability, and no clear path forward.
For a brief period, my father tried to change. He was present and sober when I was born, making a short-lived effort to be a decent husband and father. But it didn’t last. The cycles of chaos continued, shaping the environment I grew up in.
Family support was scarce. My grandmother treated my mother and her siblings cruelly, with no love, no warmth, and no sense of belonging. Attempts at reconciliation years later were futile; there was no apology, no connection, and my mother finally gave up.
Even so, there were glimpses of humanity in the chaos. Despite his flaws and the damage he caused, my father treated my older sister and brother as his own children. They still call him Dad today. It wasn’t enough to erase the trauma or abandonment, but it was something—a small act of love that endured amid destruction.
This story isn’t just mine. It’s a reflection of generational patterns that can be broken. Understanding the roots of dysfunction is the first step toward reclaiming agency and building a different path for yourself.
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For more on resilience, healing, and breaking generational cycles, find Four Time Felon on Amazon.
Rick Scadden is a loving husband, father, and pastor. Once a four-time felon, Rick’s journey from troubled past to full-time pastoral leadership is a testament to the power of redemption and grace. A passionate leader, teacher, and preacher, Rick dedicates his life to guiding others on their spiritual journey and fostering community through faith. He enjoys spending time outdoors, particularly fly fishing, which allows him to connect with God’s creation in a personal way. Rick is married to his wife, Lacey, and together they have three children, Sadie, Amariah, and Josiah.