The following is adapted from Perspective is a Verb by The Converse Cowboy
I once had a close friend who, from the outside, appeared to have everything figured out. He climbed the corporate ladder, landed his dream role, earned a six-figure salary, and drove a company car. His personal life looked just as polished. He married a beautiful woman, built a sprawling home on hundreds of acres, and filled a multi-car garage with brand-new vehicles. Every box that was supposed to equal “success” was checked.
And yet, beneath all of it, he felt constant self-doubt. No matter how much he achieved, it never felt like enough.
It took him years to realize he was trapped on the hedonic treadmill, endlessly chasing happiness through accomplishments, status, and material things. Each milestone brought a brief rush of satisfaction, but it never lasted. He was searching for fulfillment everywhere except within himself.
Though he was living what many would call the American Dream, something essential was missing. He sensed it but couldn’t name it. Afraid of appearing imperfect, he kept his doubts hidden. His ego wouldn’t allow vulnerability, even with those closest to him.
Then, after returning home from a business trip, his life cracked open. Before he could unpack, his wife told him she wanted a divorce. While the words stunned him, he wasn’t surprised. Their marriage had been fragile from the beginning, though he’d refused to admit it.
The months that followed were brutal. His carefully constructed image began to unravel, and with it, his sense of identity. He withdrew from friends and family, moved his belongings into storage, and rented a small apartment that felt sterile and empty. His days blurred together: work, a frozen dinner, sleep brought on by pills just to quiet his mind.
But that collapse became the beginning of something else.
Stripped of distractions, he was forced to confront himself. He began reading obsessively, diving into psychology, philosophy, and ancient wisdom. Slowly, insights surfaced. He started to understand that being human meant having flaws, not being flawed. With that realization came self-compassion.
As his perspective shifted, getting out of bed became easier. He learned to observe his thoughts rather than be ruled by them. Over time, gratitude replaced resentment. Awareness replaced denial. He even came to feel grateful for the divorce that had dismantled his illusion of perfection and set him on a more honest path.
Today, my friend is still learning, still growing. Every time I see him in the mirror, I remind him to stay grateful.
Perspective, after all, is something we choose. When we slow down, cultivate awareness, and practice gratitude, we reclaim agency over our lives. What once felt like the end can become the doorway to purpose, if we’re willing to look inward and begin again.
…
For more reflections on perspective, gratitude, and purpose, find Perspective Is a Verb on Amazon.
The Converse Cowboy is a modern-day philosopher, entrepreneur, speaker, and the host of the chart-topping Converse Cowboy podcast, an unfiltered journey into the mindset, mental health, and habits of high performers in the Western world and beyond.
A Louisiana boy turned real estate investor and author, he fuses Eastern philosophies with the spirit of the American West.
He roams from the open plains to bustling cities, collecting insights from the people and landscapes that shape his unique worldview. A master of finding meaning in the everyday, his writing blends rugged wisdom with a deep appreciation for life's simple moments.