The following is adapted from Good Drama! by Carmen I. White and Lennie A. Smith.
For years, we kept our marriage a secret. We feared that being married might undermine our credibility, affect our income, or make us appear less professional. But over time, we realized that hiding our relationship was actually a missed opportunity. Being married wasn’t a weakness—it was a unique strength.
When we began openly acknowledging our marriage, everything shifted. People noticed our chemistry and commented on how well we worked together. They said things like, “You finish each other’s sentences,” or “You’re always one step ahead of each other.” Our collaboration wasn’t magic—it was built through years of shared effort—but being seen as a couple added a layer of authenticity to our partnership. Some were even surprised we were married, noting, “You actually like each other,” highlighting how rare it seemed for couples to work together harmoniously.
Initially, we worried that being married would make others question our individuality or our professional power. We wanted to show that we were independent, capable, and fully engaged as professionals, even while sharing a life together. By openly embracing our relationship, we demonstrated that we could be both a unified team and independent individuals—each with our own skills, debts, and ambitions. This realization became a form of “Setting the Stage” for the next chapter of our lives.
In theater, actors “set the stage” by understanding their character, knowing the environment around them, and visualizing themselves at the center of the story. In life, we can do the same: examine our circumstances, identify our support networks, and imagine ourselves fully prepared to step into the spotlight. For us, this meant reconnecting with our professional network, celebrating relationships aligned with our goals, and framing interactions around how we could help others. By shifting our focus from fear or self-doubt to action and contribution, new opportunities began to appear.
We also discovered the power of what we call “mask work.” Leaders often present an exterior to the world that differs from their internal self-perceptions. By exploring the inside of the mask—how we see ourselves—and contrasting it with how others perceive us, we can better understand our impact and align our actions with our authentic intentions. This kind of reflection helps leaders fine-tune their approach, empowering teams and creating more productive outcomes.
Ultimately, embracing authenticity—whether in relationships, leadership, or personal growth—is a strategic advantage. When you stop hiding your truth, you set the stage for genuine connection, stronger collaboration, and meaningful success.
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For more insights on building authentic leadership and partnerships, you can find Good Drama! on Amazon.
Meet the DramaDoctors:
For over twenty years, renowned motivational speaker, leadership coach, drama therapist, and business consultant Dr. Carmen I. White has helped individuals and organizations unlock their full potential. The co-founder of Dramatic Solutions, Inc., Carmen helps others break through barriers, achieve their personal and professional success, and create meaningful, sustainable change.
Dr. Lennie A. Smith is a leading authority in business communication, coaching, and consulting. His expertise blends theoretical knowledge with practical applications to enhance strategic communication skills. As a drama therapist, Dr. Smith’s holistic approach equips clients to communicate with clarity, empathy, and purpose, driving both individual and organizational success.